i lay in my bed and think about how you’ve been haunting me in my head so much laitly. you make me miss you, hate you, want you, love you, ignore you and adore you. you were something i can’t find how to let go of. the way we’d kiss, cuddle, watching you dip, drive everywhere, go everywhere together, be attached to eachothers side, text eachother every two minutes, piggy back rides, sledding, i just miss everything there is to miss about you. when i see you i get the chills and a lump grows bigger and bigger in my throat. when i hear your name, all the memories come rolling back into my head. when i see you with her, it makes me picture of how that should’ve been me, it could’ve been me, but you made your choice. but i’ve been there, that’s why i’m here. i know for us it’s too late, but i can’t let go of you! i wish i knew how to, i really do. but i just can’t. one question was all you had to ask “do you like me?” and i knew from the begining you would have me wrapped around your little chunky finger. inside i bilt a wall so high around my heart i thought it’d never fall, but one touch and you brought it down. you’re the last time i’ll let someone in. it was over from the start, you completely stole my heart, and now you wont let go, i never even had a chance you know because you had me from hello. all these big thoughts for “us”, and “we” got thrown away faster than my eyes can blink. your adorable brown boots, john deere belt buckle, and camo hoodies, you were all i had ever wanted and more. i just wish you still felt the same as you did. i’ve never had someone do me as bad and cold hearted as you did. i herd the other day that she got her prom dress, and she’s so excited to go with you. i hope she is everything i wasn’t and can and will give you everything i couldn’t and didn’t. i’m sorry for everything i did wrong. if you didn’t know it before, you know it now, i’m crazy about you. you held my heart in your hand and just played with it. i actally fell for you. sometimes i cry myself to sleep picturing “us” in my head. but i keep telling myself that the right thing to is forget you. i’m just waisting my time waiting on my dreams that just wont come true. eventually i will have to forget about you, i do all i can as it is to get my mind off “us”. if i had one more day to show you how sorry i am for ever letting you go, i would. but you’ve made up your mind with her, not me. and i’m just going to have to accept that. and i promise you i will someday, but i just can’t anytime soon. i guess i’ll just be waiting for you like i always have been. if i had the guts to tell you all of this to your face i would, but i don’t. so it’ll always be a message to no one, about something we used to be, “you” will never have a name, and “i” will keep a broken heart over you. i’ll always love you though, no matter how bad you hurt me. <3
